So of course you all know me from the hit reality show “LOVE & HIP HOP ATLANTA” but everything that glitters ain’t gold. However i don’t regret appearing on the show at all it was an opportunity of a lifetime!! 🙂 But without trying to slander the franchise let’s just say everyone was one the same page, so what see is what you got, but what you didn’t see is what you don’t get!! I was quickly  exposed to the dog eat dog world of that industry, it’s nasty, cruel, and just simply evil. Although i will not go into details because of legalities, what i will say is the selling of your reputation should not have a dollar amount, I’m guilty as charged , when the opportunity was offered to me  i accepted in an instant, With one thing on my mind….”The Almighty Dollar” It wasn’t until  then i finally knew the meaning of “MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL” Jumping in head first, contracts signed sealed and delivered!! Lights, camera, & Immediately after the words Action! I was no longer the Viewer I was now being Viewed In front of millions and it was no turning back!! WTF did i just do? But i just went with the flow, but the flow on set was taking all kinds of confusing turns. Anyhoo one of the main turns was the fact that i was considered and treated like an absolute alien because of my weight, So many name callings, so many jabs being thrown, low blows and all kinds of madness. It was if that scene was specifically aimed at my weight it was ridiculous. But don’t get me wrong i’m no punk nor am i easily broken, i can definitely hold my own and that’s what i did. But it wasn’t until after filming did i realize, Wait the whole world is going to watch me being talked about. My weight is going to be the topic of discussion.. I knew then that i had to do something about my weight, it was like a wake up call. So after being introduced to a company called TOTAL LIFE CHANGES!!! My life literally changed with just one week on the detox tea i had lost a whopping 10lbs  in just the first week i knew i finally found my breakthrough!!!!!! All i could do is just say THANK YOU JESUS!! GOD IS GOOD!! So of course i kept going with my journey to become healthier and lose weight and next thing you know a month had passed and i had lost a total of 30.2lbs ..You all just dont know how accomplished i felt, how quick i found my confidence again no more yoga pants, no more sweat pants, no more all black to hide what size i really wore and to hide my problem areas, No ma’am i started wearing bright colors to show how bright i felt in the inside and i began leaving my house and going out in public even more, because i wasn’t ashamed of how i looked i was able to hold my head up high with confidence i even had a new pep in my step. Total Life Changes has been nothing but a pure blessing to me health wise and financially, but most importantly health wise i have my life back i was in a deep dark place in my life and i hid it so well i was depressed taking depression medicine, and anxiety medicine, my life was going in a downward spiral all because of my weight issue, i mean who would ever think being fat or over weight could have such impact on your mental health. I mean i would literally lay in my bed with my room pitch dark and just lay in my mental sickness of being fat and undesirable, I never thought i would tell anybody this but yes i thought about suicide although i never acted on it just simply the thought of not having to worry about the pressure of the world and being thin was such a comforting thought but with my strong christian background i just knew that was not the answer. It has been plenty of days that i had to walk really fast passed a mirror at someones house or a store and wherever i saw a mirror because the mere image of my body was terrifying to me. So this life long struggle with my weight had just tripled when i made the choice of appearing on a reality show in front of the public eye to open my life up to the world and all its harsh criticism.. So imagine already being in the deepest darkest moments of your life and then BOOM! here comes the rest of the world and all their opinions.. when i tell you i had so many Direct Messages on Instagram, Mentions on Twitter, Emails etc. from these complete strangers talking about my weight it was ridiculous. I had people sending me stuff like “Why Don’t you just Die With Your Fat Ass”  “Your a sweaty Pig” ” You Look Like A Blimp” etc……. Now keep in mind i was already contemplating suicide, already on meds for depression because of my weight, and complete strangers have the nerve to criticize me about my weight, i mean grown people sounding like complete fools..But what they didn’t know was although i may have been overweight and in the darkest place in my life i wasn’t a weak person, i had to get up and get out of my FUNK and hold my head up high and shut the haters up with actions and that’s what i did. But i do want to take this time to say no matter how badly you want to say or do to someone to hurt them with words or actions you never know what someone is going in their life already so please keep your hurtful words to yourself, cause had i not had the strength to overcome the criticism of the world while already battling my own self hate i could of easily let all those hateful and negative comments be the icing on the cake and took my life…so think before you speak!! Oh But God had already written the blueprint so when i was introduced to TLC it was truly a blessing i have a testimony which you’ve just heard and that’s why im so passionate about the product that changed my life and even more passionate about mu father in heaven who brought me out!! Although my story was just a summary of my struggle i truly appreciate your time and please if you know someone who can benefit from reading this don’t hesitate to share…

****Every year tens of thousands of Americans die from suicide. It is the third leading cause of death among young people between the ages of 10-25

..****More than one-third (35.7 percent) of adults are considered to be obese. More than 1 in 20 (6.3 percent) have extreme obesity. Almost 3 in 4 men (74 percent) are considered to be overweight or obese. The prevalence of obesity is similar for both men and women (about 36 percent).

****Depression Affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S.population age 18 and older in a given year. Persistent depressive disorder, or PDD, (formerly called dysthymia) is a form of depression that usually continues for at least two year

****Kenneth Weishuhn (1997–2012), age 14, was a teen who is known for his suicidewhich raised the national profile on gay bullying and LGBT youth suicides. Weishuhn, then 14 years old, was allegedly bullied in person, death threats were sent to his mobile phone, and he was the subject of a Facebook hate group.

STOP BULLYING!!!  IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY DON’T SAY IT ALL. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS GOING THROUGH!! 

IT WONT KILL YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!! BUT IT CAN KILL THEM..

PS. I FORGIVE YOU IF YOUR ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO TRIED TO HURT ME.

PBM

 

 

 

 

 

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